When I began my so-called “traveling career” back in 2014, I wasn’t alone. I’d made the decision to travel and live abroad with my boyfriend at the time. After that initial jump together, we ended up traveling for four years. We lived in new countries, met new people, experienced new cultures, and backpacked through a plethora of places together. 

After being in a relationship for five years, however, we decided it was finally time to end it as it simply wasn’t working for either of us— right after moving to China and starting year-long contracts as ESL teachers at our new jobs. Pretty ideal timing, right?

As I moved out of our apartment and into my own place for the first time in my life, the nervousness and horror of being by myself were crushing. I was genuinely scared to be alone—yes, in China, but overall in life as well. But, for the next couple of months, I healed. I threw myself into work, made new friends, learned about myself, explored my city of Shenzhen and surrounding areas (like Hong Kong!), and took care of me for once.

Then, winter break came along and I knew there was only one thing I could and needed to do: go on my first solo trip. All on my own, I did my research of where exactly I wanted to go, how much it would cost, where I’d stay, how I’d get there, and so on. 

Even during the research stage, I loved the idea that I could finally go where I wanted, do what I wanted, see what I wanted, stay where I wanted—everything was my own decision and no one else’s! No checking in with somebody else or doing something I didn’t want to do! “Freedom” had finally become an achievable concept for me. 

And yet, when actually getting on that airplane that took me to Phnom Penh in Cambodia, then even when taking the taxi to my AirBNB, I was nearly crippled with anxiety. I thought I’d made a mistake. I thought I couldn’t do it. No way I’d survive this three-week-long trip in Cambodia and Thailand alone.

But, when I went to the rooftop bar at my AirBNB for a drink to relax my nerves, I immediately made friends with three extremely friendly folks from Malaysia. We drank, told stories, connected, then even went exploring the following day together! 

And this kept happening throughout my three weeks. I met so many people and made so many friends everywhere I went. I even went on a date and explored Siem Reap and Angkor Wat with him! Talk about moving right on, right?! 

I was honestly more often wandering and spending time with fellow travelers than I was traveling alone! The connections and vital self-learning experiences I had on that trip set the tone not only for my future solo trips, but for understanding myself and who I am in general.

Disclaimer: I’m not trying to convince you to break up with your significant other, husband, wife, or whomever (unless you think it’s necessary like it was in my case, of course!). I’m simply saying that, if you want to go travel, you shouldn’t let anyone stop you—including yourself. Go on that trip— and if you want to go with someone, but they’re giving you the runaround, just go without them! Life’s too short to waste it waiting on others.

On top of this, solo travel is the perfect way of reconnecting with yourself. We can sometimes get muddled and lose ourselves in our significant others and the people with whom we spend our time. It isn’t a sin to want to travel alone. It isn’t a sin to want to spend time with yourself. Solo travel is simply a way to remind yourself of who you are, what brings you joy, and what makes you you.

Where will you go on your first/next solo trip?

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